Paths to Enlightenment

“Imagine your house of thoughts standing in the middle of an ocean of light from a trillion stars. Imagine your awareness trapped inside the darkness of that house, struggling daily to live off the artificial light of your limited experiences. Now imagine the walls crumbling down and the effortless release of consciousness expanding into the brilliance of what is and always was. Now give that experience a name— enlightenment.”

~Michael Singer, Untethered Soul

My path to enlightenment actually began several years ago when I had not even perceived that I was on a journey to higher levels of awareness and consciousness. In late 2014, one of my mentor’s shared with me the book, One Word that Will Change Your Life by Dan Britton, Jimmy Page, and Jon Gordon. Instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions, the book invites readers to live out a single word every year. This is not a word that you choose, but it is a word you receive through a very intricate process that involves unplugging, prayer, meditation, and seeking answers to three questions:

1. What do I need?

2. What’s in my way?

3. What needs to go?

As someone who would set 100 New Year’s Resolutions, I liked how simplistic this approach was because it felt like a process to which I could commit. I had no idea how transformative my ONE WORD journeys would become. The word I received my first year in 2015 was TRUST. That proved to be one of the most difficult years of my career, as I had taken a leap of faith to pursue my dream project. I wound up having a Will Smith, Pursuit of Happyness year in the sense that it was a heartbreakingly difficult at times, but it ultimately had a storybook ending.

Almost paradoxically, in spite of all the setbacks, it was also one of the most fulfilling seasons of my professional journey as well. I was pursuing my dream, and I knew that no matter how it panned out, I would never have to look back on my life and wonder, “What If.” I read Paulo Coehlo’s The Alchemist for the first time that year and I was encouraged by an inspiring quote from the book, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” So, I was putting all my eggs in the TRUST basket. Trusting God, trusting the Universe, and trusting myself. I lost track of all the No’s I received, because I knew I just needed one Yes, and I was trusting that things would eventually work out in my favor.

In a widely viewed commencement speech, Steve Jobs states, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” There were some major gut punches and deflating moments I endured, but I was trusting that the dots would somehow connect as I turned down more than one “safe” job offer that would have liberated me from unemployment, but taken me away from my focused pursuit of my dream. My staunch commitment to living the word TRUST seemed insane and almost to my detriment.

At one of my lowest points, I went to visit my parents because I needed to be around the physical energy of their love to help uplift me in the face of so much disappointment. During that time, I read Marianne Williamson’s, The Law of Divine Compensation. In it, she asserts, “the Universe intends that you self-actualize, and sometimes that means not getting what you want in order to realize that you’re fine without it—which counterintuitively then paves the way for you to attract that or something better!”

The combination of access to the loving physical presence of my parents and the powerful insights I was gaining from that book enabled me to make 180 in my outlook, even though nothing had physically changed in my life. I felt renewed, like I could not only continue on in my TRUST journey, but that I should begin to expect a favorable outcome. All the No’s and rejections meant that the Universe had something better for me, so I needed to be open to different pathways to my desired goal. Just before my visit ended, my mother gave me $200. I tried to refuse it, but she insisted because she knew I had nothing. There I was, an ivy league educated, PhD scientist with prestigious accolades on my resume, down to my last, living off taxes I owed and credit cards, and now needing a loan from my retired, limited income mother. It was rock bottom and I cried as I accepted the money, vowing to pay her back with interest.

A few months later, the Universe conspired in my favor and I landed my dream position that brought with it a six-figure salary. I was so happy to be able to repay my mother double of what she loaned me. To this day, I continue to sow financial seeds of love and gratitude with my parents and loved ones whenever my heart is led.

It has truly been an amazing journey ever since to live out a single word every year. In 2020, my word was LOVE. I was actually terrified when I received that word because I knew there were significant implications of living out all the dimensions of Love. And in September of that year, my dear father passed away unexpectedly. Grief is an extension of Love. You don’t grieve anyone or anything that you never loved.

Through his transition, my father has shown me that love truly knows no bounds. Not even death can separate us from someone that we truly love. Admittedly, this has been an immensely painful truth to embrace because my mind constantly challenges it. I still feel my father’s love in my heart. He feels so present, so much so that I sometimes have to remind myself of his transition because I still instinctively want to call him to seek his counsel or share something that’s happened. It’s been a Ground Hog Day of pain, repeatedly having to remind myself that I can’t pick up the phone and call anymore. The cognitive dissonance between my mind and heart has produced suffering.

According to the Dalai Lama, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” I will never be able to remove the pain of no longer having access to my father’s physical presence on earth. But, I can choose to end my suffering that results from it. It has taken me nearly 16 months to learn how to quiet my mind so that I can trust what my heart knows to be true. My father is still with me, and I will NEVER be separated from him or his love. So, I need to lean more into the power of LOVE. The Bible reminds us that love— “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (I Corinthians 13: 7-8)

TRUST and LOVE have played profound roles in my path to enlightenment. I have learned to embrace the brilliance of what is and always was. Then, and only then, has life become beautiful.